...handle this type of situation?
I am so torn between being patient and having the heart of God, and running over to this guys house and poking holes in all his tires and throwing eggs at his door. Ugh.
The ongoing saga with D, the guy who owes DH a couple thousand dollars...still. And it has been over two months that he has been behind. DH went to go meet him today to get some more money...hopes was that D was going to give him like a thousand or so...$200 is all he had. COME FREAKING ON DUDE!! Really...are you paying this other guy whom you still have working for you? Is he up to date on his pay? Why the heck aren't you hounding the people that owe YOU money every day? I am so p-ed off...again.
So I am struggling with how to handle this. How to handle D. We don't want to burn any bridges since he is a family friend, odds are we will see him many more times from now, and we may need his help when we go to re-do our kitchen. But how to do you approach this kind of thing with this kind of person?
I got kind of a soft heart when I started to really think about it, from God's perspective. We don't know what kind of situation D is in. How strapped he is with his finances and bills. How often he has been hounding his customers to pay up. What (internal) struggles he is dealing with regarding being behind and not being able to pay DH what he owes him. I mean, D could really be in the dumps and emotionally drained and just as stressed as we are.
But, is that any reason for us to be "understanding" and fall behind in our financial capabilities because of him? I don't know...and I am having a hard time wrapping my head around it.
How would you handled this type of person or situation?
I am going to pray about it, myself and with DH. Because I really don't know. I mean, we aren't so strapped that we aren't able to pay our bills right now (right now, today, that is...next week is a different story). I get paid tomorrow and have a small bonus coming. Another bonus coming in June, plus our economic stimulus check from the gvt. next month...I mean, it will all pan out (I hope and pray)...but I very much dislike being this close to the edge. Not knowing day by day or week by week if we can or can't pay for something. Having to really be strict and limit what we buy for groceries (like no cookies or pass on the meat and fish this week...stick to pasta). How long can I really go before I am sucking out the last drops of my face lotion or moose till I HAVE to buy a new one. No wiggle room. It is scary.
I am sure God is trying to teach us something here. I have felt it for the past couple of months. And I think I keep getting a glimmer of it. But it is hard to swallow. It is hard to have faith when your bank account is sitting at under $100 and you can't remember if you wrote a check a couple weeks ago for something that they aren't going to cash until...today!! Ugh.
Any advise, suggestions? Need some good feedback from an outsiders perspective.
10 comments:
I am so sorry that you are having to go through so much financial stress right now! We have been there!! When my DH was trying to start up the snowboard business with his partner (friend). Only my DH and his partner were trying hard to pay all of the laborers for their work and we were the ones left with no pay! It was a very rough time for us, since I was not working. It came to the point where DH and his business partner were doing another side job for our own income AND to pay a few of the guys doing the labor. When I look back, I think the Lord was trying to remind us that we could cling to him. It took all of my strength and faith to hang in there. We also were given renewed perspective on what is important in life.
Maybe your DH can work out some type of payment plan with D? Hang in there and continue to keep your faith. He will carry you through this.
I've been where you are before... Hubby has a freelance biz doing graphic design, marketing and branding and we protected ourselves by making sure nothing was done without our clients signing a contract with us. We were burned once pretty badly by a Doulah no less... (you would think someone in that line of work would actually be a responsible citizen) who hired us to create and design many things for her and then failed to pay us and stole the design Hubby worked so hard on. We had no protection or course of action to take because there hadn't been a formal written agreement for any set amount. Perhaps in the future, if your DH continues in this line of work on contract, you should draw up a formal contract and make sure he doesn't do any work without one signed.
In the meantime... coupons coupons coupons! They're life savers. Also, I've found that in a pinch, our local dollar store has name brand cosmetic products!! You should check yours out!
I hope things get better for you soon... but God's time, not ours! He'll see you through. At any rate, I'm praying for you!
By-the-way, you're in the Chicago area aren't you? Were you affected by the earthquake much? We're in the StL area and felt it quite a bit.
I don't know if I can offer any words of wisdom. I wonder if this is what it's like being a missionary. ???? :o) They depend on people's generosity to get them through each day and week and they have to trust God to provide for them when they don't know where their next meal is coming from. Even the families with small children. I'm sure God is teaching you something here. Whether it be a lesson that you need to learn or DH needs to learn or the both of you. But I also know that God knows full well what you need and will provide for you even when you can't see or don't know where your next meal is coming from or where the money will come from for that next bill. God knows. I'm sure this inner struggle is common and understandable. I'm even sure that God understands and is probably proud of you for making the correct choice in trusting in Him instead of resulting to some self-satisfaction that you know is not right (like the tire slashing and house egging). Keep your chin up, honey. You're walking through a valley right now but one day God will put you on top of the mountain. :o)
I am sorry that all of these money worries are causing you such stress. Being that tight is always stressful and I can understand your frustration with this guy not paying. Unfortunately, I can't really offer suggestions, but I hope it eventually works out for you!
that is tricky. i have never been good at asking people for money when they owe us. it makes you feel uncomfortable and you shouldn't be-because it really is your money. i am sure that God will give you direction in how to approach him. gary and i are so strapped for money sometimes due to the business startup that I understand completely. i remember one morning being so upset and cryin in bed and gary and i said a prayer together cuddled up with lucas and God somehow made a way. it will work out. i will be praying for you guys and hoping that things go smoothly.
I wish I had some good advice for you but I am at a loss. It is a difficult situation and I am so sorry that you and your DH have to go through it. I can only imagine your frustration. It makes it even worse that he is a family friend. I hope to I hear that he makes things right soon!
I so wish I could offer some magical solution, but I totally see your predicament and would feel the same way. Ultimately the guy owes you money, but at the same token we’re to be merciful. I think there’s definitely an opportunity for both in this situation. I pray the Lord protects you all and provides in a way only He can. I know he will take care of you. Keep us posted on the D situation. I know it’s got to cause you heartache. Thank you for your words the other day on my blog. I needed them.
Keep us posted.
I have no advice for your situation. It sounds like you're taking the right steps by praying for direction on how to handle the situation. I've found that somehow things seem to work out with the financial situation for Hubby and I even when I feel it is at our worst. It wasn't but a few months ago I didn't see how we were going to continue to make ends meet, get some things done for the house we need to complete and bring his boys for their summer visit. God has provided, in his time, and now we're going to be able to do more than we thought. It's the waiting which is the hardest...faith during the waiting can be a tricky thing.
I don't have any advice :-( If it were me I'd probably have pitched a fit and burned those bridges long ago. But, I am not saying that's what is BEST to do. I usually over-react and then regret it later. I guess just take it one day at a time for now, and see where that leads to. If you have to pitch a fit in the end, then so be it. You did your best waiting as long as you could, and stretching money as much as you could. You can only be so strong before it takes a huge toll on you, too.
No idea why ... but my Dad is the giver of money ... he will give money to someone he met minutes ago ... "You can't take money to Heaven" "God doesn't care how much money you die with" anyway on to my point ... HIS theory is If you give it pass it up for gone ... DO NOT give money if you need it or you are hurting for it, if it was in your heart to give it in the first place you have to understand that they needed it more than you at that time.
I am the same way ... I gave a friend $400 about 3 months ago ... she SAID she would pay me back $100 a week ... I haven't seen a DIME ... but she is still my friend and I still keep her in my prayers. She needed it and I gave it ... count if up for gone and "let it go" before it causes problems ...
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