Oh, tell me it is just her age and a phase she is going through.
Miss J is all of a sudden a COMPLETE mama's girl. Everything is "my mommy" and she runs to me and grabs my leg like someone is going to take her away from me. And she does this with dad too. Which is why it is so hard.
DH is really becoming sad with this behavior. She won't even give him a kiss or a hug without having to be coaxed into it. She runs to me and grabs me and cries "my mommy". Weird. DH feels like it has a lot to do with the fact that he was working so much over the past weeks at that BS job. I know that might have something to do with it, but not all of it. But DH can't get past that. He really feels guilty, and then on top of it, not loved.
I tried to tell him that it is not his fault and not to take it personally. That she has gotten very clingy to me lately and it could be not only her age (terrible twos on the rage), but that she may be a bit cranky because of her teeth coming in (still), and that mommy has been the one comforting her a LOT lately. But not to blame himself for this act that she is putting on.
I am trying to push them to spend more time together. Having him get her up in the morning, put her to bed at night, play time together, etc. (plus that give me some downtime with this big preggo belly and ACTIVE crazy baby boy). Last night she would not allow him to read to her or put her to bed. She came out and cried and cried for me. So I read to her and put her to bed. Then she cried a bit later and I had dad go in to comfort her...nope, she wanted only mommy to comfort her. Gosh, my feelings would be hurt too. I wish I knew why and I wish I could do something more about it.
This weekend DH is going camping, so he won't see her until Sunday night, maybe even Monday morning. So that isn't going to help much. I really think a lot of it is her teeth again. She hurts and just wants to be comforted and mommy has been that comfort for the past couple of months. Plus, she is officially less than 1-month away from turning 2. So she is just fussy about everything and wants everything her way. That is a treat.
Any thoughts? Anyone else ever run into this type of thing after DH has been gone for a period of time? Or is it just the age thing that they will grow out of the "mommy's girl" thing?
I tried to give DH some attention this morning (uhum...if you get my drift) and thought that would bring his spirits up a bit. But the minute he was off to work and Miss J wouldn't kiss him goodbye...he was crushed again. Ugh...I hope it gets better.
8 comments:
Ugh, poor DH. One of my daycare kids is going through this right now. Starting last Thursday she cries the second her mom tells her good-bye. She whines and cries throughout most of the day and nothing I do comforts her. She's about the same age as Miss J so it might just be something they go through. I hope it gets better for you both.
I haven't had a second one yet and haven't done the research but I wonder if it might have something to do with the impending addition to your family. She might be going through a stage where she needs to feel reassured of her place with you. My mom has told me I was really clingy with her when my brother came along. I was 18 months at the time and couldn't really comprehend what was going on. Just a thought...
I have good news.........it WILL get better. Emma did this with her daddy at about the same age (maybe a little older). He was gone a LOT.......she was sick with her allergies......and it was ALL mommy ALL the time! But like you, I had daddy spend some extra time with her when he could and eventually it did improve. She will still come to me first if both of us are home. But boy, you better get out of the way now in the evenings when her daddy gets home. She is all over him. And, once BP2 arrives, she may realize that daddy is able to give her that little bit of extra attention since mommy will be holding baby brother. Just be patient and know that there is and end in sight!
Man! I feel sorry for your DH! That would crush anyone. Mackenna goes through little spells like that when Anthony is on nights. He doesn't get to see her much when he's on nights - maybe 20 minues at the most and not all at one time. And she would go through the whole thing of not wanting to give him a hug or kiss or tell him "bye" or "love you". I just always do the same thing you're doing - try to let them spend time together. Maybe you should step out of the house one night so that she has no one to go except for him. Mackenna and Anthony play well together but as soon as she needs any comfort, she always wants me and if he tries to go to her, she just cries even more. Give it time and she will get used to daddy again too. :o)
Tatum was doing that A LOT while we were working on the house, because she never saw her Daddy. It has started to get better, but is not the way it used to be, tell him to hang in there it will get better!
That is so hard, I hope that it gets better for both of you soon. Hugs!
Chloe was doing this last month and Craig was so heartbroken, but she eventually got over it. I am sure it will eventually pass!
I would be crushed too!
I know Jonathan would be soooo sad if Elena was in that phase. I hope he is spared that.
Just do all you can to spoil him. He'll need it.
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