Overwhelmed

Yup. That is me. This weekend. Today. Yesterday. I just feel overwhelmed with too much to do and anxious along with nervous just adds to it.

I actually had a dream last night that the baby's arm reached along side my rib cage toward my back and you could see his arm and hand through my skin. Like an alien or something. Uh, me, no, I am not overwhelmed at all!!

We got the office stuff moved out of the room into DH's bedroom (which is now cramped and full of crap with no organization to it). And we got the crib and rocker set up in the room for the baby. Miss J saw the crib and wanted to be in it, sleep in it, put her babies to sleep in it...we kept tyring to tell her it was for her baby brother, but she wouldn't listen. Now we have to get the blinds up, move the changing table (which is a whole other situation we haven't figured out yet whether we get a new one that has a dresser since the dresser and changing table won't fit in the room, or if we just get an organizer for the closet with some drawers and stuff??) Oh, and we have to move the cat box out of there...DH is NOT looking forward to having the cat box in "his" room. He is putting that off as much as possible. He hates that box, he actually very much dislikes the cat too. He keeps hoping the 13yr old cat will kick the bucket soon...but she is still moping around as healthy (and large!!) as ever. Oh, and we have to get DH to clean out one of his closets so I can put the stuff from the office closet in there...or in the attic, I guess it could go there. But we need to get the closet opened up so we can put an organizer in there, if that is what we are going to do, or at least so I can put his clothes and stuff in HIS room, not in Miss J's.

That experience, of getting the crib up and the stuff moved, really hit me. We only have 8-weeks left. OMGoodness. What are we going to do with two kids?? We really don't have the room. We barely have the time now for one. How are we going to get into a different groove, and what is that groove going to be and how is it going to look. I can't even get past what to do with his dresser/changing table situation, how can I even THINK about a groove with two kids. Getting them ready, feeding them, sleeping...Ahhhh.

The only comfort I have right now is knowing that I most definitely felt the same way about this time when I was pregnant with Miss J. Scared about what life was going to look like. Did I have everything ready, in the right place, the right stuff, the right books. Did I know how our routine would be? Nope...I was probably just as much of a mess with her as I am now. So, a little comfort that brings.

Miss J is still being difficult. Not wanting to let go of mommy. The last two mornings I have left her at school screaming and crying for me. She didn't want me to go. Last night, even though DH picked her up from school and spent some time with her, she wouldn't let him read to her or put her to bed. She threw a kicking and screaming fit until I came in. Even then she wasn't completely going to bed (and it was 8:30!!), she wanted me to stay in there and not to leave. This is all new. Like she is afraid I am going to leave and not come back. Then she wakes up at least once in the night, the past few nights, crying and scared and it is really hard to get her to calm down and get back to sleep. I don't know, combination of things that are affecting her...but she better get over this quick because it is only causing me more anxiety about "how are we going to do this!!"

On a good note. I had a Dr. appt this morning and it showed I hadn't gained any weight!! Yea. That is good news to me because the last time I went in it showed I had gained like 5lbs in two weeks. I knew that wasn't right. I think I was retaining a lot of water and had eaten something really salty that day. So today's weight seemed a little better to me. And I love how all the doctors tell you how great you look!! I think they tell that to all their patients...but it sounds pretty genuine, and I will take it. Makes you feel pretty good about yourself even if it is just for a few minutes.

Tonight, we get to see BP2 on ultrasound again. I am so excited. It may overwhelm me a little more, but at least we get to see his precious face and body, get to see him move all over, and see how big he is. I think this is going to be a big boy, with some long legs and hands/feet. I also think he will be a week or so early...so tonight we should have a better idea of how he is measuring.

Lots going on this week. Two weeks until Miss J's birthday. This weekend is packed with another 2nd birthday and the anniversary of my FIL's death (which we will be celebrating at Kiddie Land with the family). Next weekend is Labor day with Miss J's birthday, then it is the home stretch of Baby Boy!! Almost there...I still don't think we are ready...but are you really ever??

Have a great week, I may update again later with results from the u/s...