Hi Ladies, I have a question and poll for all of you who have kids, whatever age they may be. Whether you are a SAHM or WAHM or WOHM or just a MOM...please help me.
How do you, you know, get in the mood with your husband?
Do you schedule time? Do you just spur of the moment in the middle of the night get the urge to light the spark? Do you have to be persuaded? Do you have to get a babysitter for your kids (and animals) and have a nice night out with dinner and wine and a little smusing? Or is it not a problem for you at all? Any time of the day or night, you are in the mood and ready to go?
What is your secret?
I keep blaming it on so many other things...
I am exhausted.
I am too tired.
The baby is right in the next room.
The dog is watching us.
I am ovulating, don't want to get PG...yet.
I am in the middle of something (a thought, a chore, sleeping)
But I wonder if it is more than that...and I can't figure it out. I mean, if I am not in the middle of anything, not tired or exhausted, it still takes a little persuading to get me in the mood. But once I am in the mood, I don't regret it. It is just getting there. And I feel bad...real bad...that we don't have s.e.x. more than once a month any more. That is pathetic...I know.
So what do you do? What is your secret? Or are you in the same boat as me?
Happy Friday!!
13 comments:
We were totally in the same boat as you are and then Mike and I just decided to make an effort to both try harder. So, last weekend after Mia went to bed we were just laying on the couch and as much as I just wanted to close my eyes and fall asleep I thought to myself I should just attack him and that is what I did!!! At first, he didn't seem like he was up for it, but then I reminded him about our little talk and we were all over each other!!! You just have to make a conscious effort and even if sleep or other things sound better JUST DO IT!!!
Our goal for this month is at least once a week on the weekends. I will let you know how it goes!!!
Same boat here!! I have had to make a real effort. I can always come up with an excuse, but it is such an important part of any marriage, that I am determined to not let the lack of it be an issue (I hope that makes sense). I always get up before anyone else during the week, so once I get good and awake - I go wake Steven up. Sometimes it leads to something, but not always. That's okay - at least we got in some good makeout time before Emma got up.
I agree with the other two girls...sometimes I just had to make myself and then that helped me get back into the swing of things. Also, my PPD caused my drive to go down so once I started lexapro that helped. You should talk to your doctor about it...you might be surprised of what you find out.
I'm in the boat with all of you! That is one of our resolutions...to find that time for eachother. We have tried (after Ethan was born) all of the above and eventually, we got that groove back. Date nights out really helped us to reconnect. Here we are again, after #2 trying to find that balance! I think you just have to try them all and see what works best for you. It's a good variety and that's what keeps the drive alive. Also, I know exercising for me helps me to have more energy and puts the "mojo" back in gear.
Good luck and thanks for posting this!
It was actually my new year's resolution to keep the spark going. I usually try to convince Craig to come to bed a little earlier than usual and then we start with a little backrub and go from there. I just tell myself, yes, I am tired, but I know I will feel better when we do this and I am always right--I do!
Oh, I sooo wish I had something good for you on this one. But, the truth is, I don't. I am interrested in what the other have to say that HAVE rekindled that flame. Mine's just a smoldering camp fire right now....that's barely smoldering! :o)
I am going to write a post about this. It'll have ideas and such on it. I am in this boat too.
Well, I was in this boat until I stopped the pill. Now, I can't wait for AF to leave! LOL But I have to say that the first month or so after stopping the pill wasn't like a complete turn-around. I still had to make myself do it and get in the mood. Sometimes I would tell Anthony that I wasn't in the mood and if he was, then to get me in the mood. He was so anxious for some coupel time that he would do all sorts of things! LOL(TMI, sorry!) It got better. Maybe if you make an effort you will get your old drive back. Good luck!
I'm in the same boat. Reading what Mrs. bfw said makes me wonder if the pill is having the same affect on me. Unfortunately, I won't be going off of it anytime soon since I'm definitely not ready for another one yet. I usually end up talking myself into it for Hubby's sake or he ends up persuading me. Geez...that sounds awful!
I don't have kids but I think a lot of women suffer this issue. Definitely try and "schedule" time at first. I find the more often we do "it" the more I want to (sorry if that's TMI). So just start by thinking to yourself that you'll make an effort and before you know it, you'll want to be with him more.
Same here! I feel like I (and sometimes he) keeps coming up with one reason or another not too. It's definitely true though....once you get into the groove again it is self-perpetuating. I really need to make more of an effort now to get our sex life back in gear. Thanks for the push!
It sounds like we're all in the same boat! This area of our marriage is definitely lacking and I would love to get it back to normal. A big problem for us is that a lot of times, Cade ends up in bed with us and he doesn't nap during the day so we don't have time then either since he's always awake. It really makes it hard but it something we really need to work on and just find time for! Thanks for this post!
I'm captain of the boat!! But I just make myself do it. My DH hates to hear that - but the truth is, I have to talk myself into it, but then I'm always glad I did. We've fallen into a pattern of how it all goes lately - but frankly, I like it. It means he has to start "romancing" me first in ways that turn me on, but then I end up getting into it and all goes well. We're at about 3-4 times a week lately - but I am in my 2nd trimester, when life is wonderful. We also have 3 kids, remember, so getting them to bed on time is key. Dates help, as does just spending time alone at home after the kids go to bed.
Hope this helps!
Oh - and prayer! I can't believe I forgot that one... it helps! God designed it for marriage, so why not ask for His help?
Post a Comment