OK, I suppose it is about time that I post about this. Every time this happens, I think "I really should post about this and see if it happens to anyone else and what they think it means", but then I get lost in the day and forget about it.
But often that is what happens with dreams. You remember them just as you wake up, then you get going with the day and often forget about it, or at least the details.
So, last night, I had another one of these dreams. I get them at least once a month and they always turn out the same way. Except last night, it was a different conclusion and not sure why or what it really means.
What are they about, you might ask?
My Ex boyfriend.
Yes, girls, that kind of dream. I don't know why I continue to have them. I don't miss him, I don't wish I were with him rather than my DH, I don't secretly want to have an affair with him. I just don't know.
Quick history. JS and I dated multiple times throughout high school, college, post college. Actually, I think it may have even started in Jr. High, if that counts. We dated through most of High School (he was a year younger than me). We broke up after my first semester in college. Then crossed paths years later after college and dated again for a few years, broke up, got back together, broke up, got back together...not sure how many times really. I think I lost count somewhere. Well, the last time we were together, we were planning to move in together. That is when I had an epiphany and took a spontaneous trip to the Smokey mountains all by myself, and that ladies is when I gave myself to Christ. On my way home, I felt like a new woman and was ready to really pursue this relationship with JS. Well, he was not on the same path as I. I would go to church, and he would stay home. I would talk about church and God and he would not have much to say. So, needless to say, we eventually went our own ways.
Shortly after that is when I met my DH and we started dating. With no intentions at all of actually having a serious relationship. We just enjoyed meeting at church, hanging out afterwards, talking, having fun. But then it got more serious and, voila(can you tell that is my new word?)
So that was about 6 years ago. Since I have talked to JS. And the odd thing, we live 1-town away from each other (at least I think he still does). I used to keep in touch with "our" friends even though JS and I didn't talk anymore. So I usually kind of knew the low down on what was going on with him. Well, as soon as I heard he was engaged to someone, the ties kind of broke off with me and "our" friends. I understand why and didn't bother me that much since I was happily married and had a baby on the way.
Well, I have been having dreams about him for months now. The kind of dreams where we happen to run into each other some where. We are hanging out, talking, but he is showing NO interest what so ever in my. Just a very cold, professional, dead kind of conversation. And I keep having these butterflies like, "ooo, wonder if he still likes me, still thinks about me, still wants to be with me." But in the end, he doesn't. He is over me. He doesn't think about me or have any kind of feelings for me what so ever. Some times he tells me this very bluntly, some times I just feel it in our conversation and see it in his demeanor. You know, that chemistry you feel sometimes isn't there at all.
And that kind of hurts. But I don' t know why? Again, I don't want to be back with him, there is no reason. But I am still hurt that he doesn't "want" me anymore. That he is over me.
I will admit, I think of him from time to time. I wonder what I would ever say if I ran into him somewhere (and always make sure I look my best when I go out just in case I run into him...or anyone else I have not seen in ages). I wonder what he is doing. If he is happy. If he found someone that makes him as happy has my DH makes me. I know JS and I would never have been happy. I know God was soo involved with all those decisions and led me in the best direction. But I still wonder.
So, last night, the dream was different. He was interested in me, he did want me. I felt that chemistry between us. Now, there was nothing pursued here. No advancements or anything (course Jos woke me up), but I don't know that I would have wanted anything to either.
But that is it. My dreams about my ex. The dreams that I have no clue what they mean.
Anyone else have these kind of dreams. Anyone else have any insight as to what they may mean?
6 comments:
I sometimes have dreams about my ex. We sort of had the same relationship you and your ex had - well the breaking up, getting back together, over and over again part. I do think him from time to time and I'm like you - I don't want to be with him at all, not even the slightest. But if I were completely honest, I would want him to say that he treated me badly and that he should have treated me better. I would want him to say that breaking up with me was the biggest mistake of his life and that he regrets it. I would want him to say that no other girl he has ever dated has made him as happy as he was with me. Things like that. Maybe you sort of feel the same way and maybe the only time you "allow" it come out is in your dreams. Maybe you wish that he regreted breaking up with you and all. And as far as the most recent dream where he actually did want you, maybe that might have been some sort of "revenge" type thing. You know, where he wants you and you're sort of saying, "haha! Not going to happen. You had your chance." I'm no dream expert but that's what I thought of when I read it. Maybe I'm way off. Either way, I wouldn't dwell on it too much. Just shrug and say, "hm, weird dream" and be on about your family. :o) Have a great weekend!
I still have dreams about my ex too. The same...about once a month. We broke up 6 years ago. I don't know what they mean but it makes me feel bad the entire day. Like...Why are you still trapped in my unconscious?
I think everyone has someone that will continue to haunt them. I'll be 60 and dreaming of a 19 year old boy I used to know. It's so odd!
although i had a bf where we broke up-got back-broke up over 2 years...he is not the one i dream about. i DO dream about the bf i had right before i met dh. they are always very low key dreams - weird. who knows how the subconscious works?
i totally wish i could interpret dreams. I have odd ones too. I haven't dreamed about an x in awhile though. but i still have really, REALLY odd dreams. like the time hubs and i were trapped in my best friend's out of state grandmother's house and we saved all the kids from the wild gorilla that escaped the zoo. ???????
I have had dreams about my ex too. I think that when you spend a long time with someone, especially in a serious relationship, every now and then you're going to wonder what they are up to. Even though you have moved on they were important to you at one point and have left a mark on you (either good or bad.)
I've had this dream too. Sometimes a lot, other times not so much. I'm as baffled as you are!! In my dreams, the evil ex is always so wonderful, loving and sweet (and so not like our relationship was)in my dreams. It's strange since this is a guy who cheated on me and I haven't spoken to in years. I always feel way guilty when I have these dreams and feel confused as to why it's happening in the first place. I'm not sure why we have these, maybe there are some unresolved issues that parallel our relationships and bring on these dreams. No matter the reason, they are just dreams. Thankfully!
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