Ode to Christmas

Just when I was ready to post a good positive feel good kind of post...I got a call from my MIL about the weekend plans and now I am frustrated and upset again. Gosh...

I really was able to find peace this last weekend about the whole Christmas thing. We got about 90% of our shopping done on Saturday. I stopped stressing over my SIL and her not giving us any gift ideas. I stopped worrying about the "perfect gift" and just went where my spirit led me. I felt pretty good, in fact about the choices that were made and didn't feel like we really overspent or over thought anything. It was a relief.

We made a definitive decision to go to Oklahoma City after Christmas to see my grandfather. My MIL told us she would be able to watch out dog while we were gone (took a LOT of stress/worry off us), and we started talking about days of driving and staying there. My mom decided she was going to pay for our hotel the 4-nights we will be down there as a Christmas gift to us (took a LOT MORE stress/worry off us). So that just leaves us needing to pay for gas, food, and a couple more nights at hotels for the drive down there/back that we are going to split into two days to take any of the stress off Miss J and having to be in the car for 12+ hours. Plus, then we can stop and see some things on the way down and don't feel pressured to be somewhere at a certain time. If we have to stop more often because of Miss J, that is OK. Not sure if the trip is going to be a smooth one or not. I hope she spends most of her time sleeping, or playing or watching DVD's (which she doesn't really watch TV now, so not sure if that is going to work for her). But we will take turns being in the back seat with her and keeping her busy. I would love to find a tray or something to put on her seat so she could read a book or eat a snack without us having to do it for her. No luck finding one yet. But we will deal.



Plus, we got a Suite while we are in Oklahoma City so that Miss J will have her own room (divided by a wall, not a door) so she can sleep and not keep us up and if she goes down early, we can still watch TV and not wake her up. Not to mention there will be a pool so we can unwind and she can have some fun!! It cost a bit more for the suite, but well worth it for a peace of mind and good night sleep.



I have tomorrow off of work so I can clean up our office, go through papers and get stuff ready for taxes next month. I wish I could say I will be able to kick back and relax tomorrow, maybe do some last minute shopping, or warp the presents...but no. I HAVE to get the office cleaned up. It has been a pig stye for months and there is something therapeutic about cleaning/sorting a room that just makes my head fell less cramped and over packed.


Saturday, last minute things to get ready for Christmas. Packing for our trip, buying last minute things for the trip, oh, and cleaning the house.


Sunday, we were going to go to the Christmas service at church with MIL, SIL, her fiance, and DH, Miss J and I and then afterwards go downtown to the Shedd Aquarium and spend a nice afternoon as a family. It was in my head that rather than stress out about presents, why don't we just spend time together and do something as a family. So I suggested going downtown. This is where the stress levels got high again today....



It seemed like we were all OK about going. We were going to buy the tickets online so we wouldn't have to wait in line. We were going to drive separately because we can't all fit in one car. And, since I knew there was a Bears game on Sunday, about the same time we were going down there, I knew that we would have to park in a parking garage a few miles away and take a bus to get there (the Shedd is right next door to the Bears stadium, so all parking there will be dedicated to the Bears fans). No big deal in my mind...I knew it might be crazy, but do-able. So I thought we would park, go have lunch on Michigan ave (since Miss J would be ready for lunch by the time we got down there), then hop on the bus and go to the Shedd. No biggie in my mind.
Again, knowing we may run into some traffic, but do-able.




So MIL calls me about an hour ago.




"Hey, have you bought the tickets online yet?"




"No."


"OK, good. I forgot there was a Bears Game on Sunday."



"Oh yeah, I knew that."


"OH, so don't you think it will be hard to find parking?"



"Yeah, but the parking garages will be open and then we can hop on a bus."



"Don't you think they may be packed?"



"Uh, it is a parking garage, and there a bunch of them so I don't think it will be hard to find parking. As for the bus, probably. But that is why I thought we would have lunch first that way we can offset the timing of the start of the game."



"What about leaving?"


"Uh, same thing. I don't think we are going to spend hours there...I think we will be OK."



"Oh."




And that is where I was getting the feeling she didn't want to deal with it all and would rather stay home and watch the game. So, I am a bit upset. I know we could still go and just deal with it...but I know we don't need the added stress of tons of people and traffic, yada yada yada. So, I feel like I lost out on this time to spend a day downtown with the family. I know my hubby will agree and we will probably end up watching the game at our house. Which is OK, still family time, but not what I really wanted. Uhgh. I just gotta let it go right now.

So then Monday, my mother and her husband come over for Christmas eve, we open some presents have some snacks, then go to her husbands family's house for Christmas eve.



Christmas morning, get up bright and early, open some presents as a family, get ready to go to MIL's house and open up more presents. This is where I will begin with some coffee and Bailey's and bring my homemade cinnamon rolls. Then at noon, off to Nani's (great grandma's) for the 12-hour celebration. Hopefully it won't be that long. But it is a long day of eating, drinking (a lot in order for me to make it through the day...ha) and opening presents. Lots of deep breaths will get me though it. This year I don't have the excuse that I have to go nurse Miss J to take a break...I will have to think of something else.


Then, we are planning on leaving Bella there so that MIL can take her home to watch her while on our trip...I hope that goes well. Bella has a bit of separation anxiety...she has some calming medicine we put in her water...hope that works and she doesn't stress MIL out.



Wednesday, we are leaving in the AM to head to Oklahoma city. Weather looks good now...so no snow or ice to get in our way. We will stop part way down to stay the night, then be there on the 27th. Spend time with my Grandpa, his girlfriend and her family. Maybe see the Oklahoma City memorial, maybe go to the zoo...do family stuff.



Then head back on New Years Eve, stop half way (so we don't have to get caught in the New Years Eve traffic craziness) and go the last 5-hours on New Years day.

Yes, a lot going on the next 12-days. I hope I have time to take a breath, enjoy the Christmas season, spend family time, enjoy our first family trip together...I know I will. Just a lot ahead of us.




In the midst of all of this "stuff" going on...I have been heart struck by a few friends who are going through some VERY painful times. Much more painful than what I just summarized above. These people are helping me to bring things into perspective. Realize that the stress and chaos in each of our lives is all relative. There is always someone worse off than you and always someone better off than you. And to be thankful that you can reach out to those hurting or in need despite what you are going through.


One of the teachers at school, I just found out today, has a 10 year old daughter and 13 month old daughter, is going through a divorce, and the dad isn't paying any support or helping them out. And through all of that...she still walks into school each day with a big smile on her face. She is always friendly and cheery when I go to pick up Miss J. She made me a Thank You card for the Christmas gift I gave her (and all of the teachers) and was just very thankful for the gift. WOW!! Through all that pain and frustration and worry and stress that she is going through, and in the Christmas season, she still has time to smile and be thankful...


Also, a co-worker of mine just opened up to us yesterday that he is battling depression again (his last bout was about 10 years ago) and it is all due to this new job responsibility that he was assigned and thought he could do. But he is being pulled in so many directions it has been affecting his sleep, his confidence, his family. And now he is ready to crack and worried about losing his job. Ugh. And he is always so confident, and so smart and seems to tackle everything so well and has a great family. So to see this glimmer of fear really opened my eyes. We are praying for him fervently, especially during this next Christmas week.



Those things just make me stop and think about how precious life and time are. And how my problems seem so small and minuscule compared to what they or others in this world are struggling with right now.



I am going to spend the next week really praying that God would open up my eyes to the reality of life and not take for granted what I do have to be thankful for.

This post will probably be the last one I write for a couple of weeks. So if you didn't get through it all today, you have 12-more days to re-read it. Not that you really want to re-read about my complaining life...but just in case.



I wish all of you and your families a warm, loving, festive, and memorable Christmas and Joyous New Years.

I will leave you with some pictures...hopefully to brighten up this post a bit!! I promise I am not a scrooge!! Miss J and Santa at our company Christmas Party

Our "bare" Christmas tree. Not too happy with it this year...but it is a work in progress!!
You can't really see this one...but it is Miss J as an angel...a gift that she made for us last year.
This is the ONLY ornament that I have from when I was a kid. That is a picture of me, I think in the 3rd grade or something?

This is my Santa...can't remember where I got him, but I love the curls in his beard.

The two anges kissing...this was my Grandmothers that she passed on to me.
The wine corkboard that I made. We have Christmas cards on it now, but will use it for pictures.
Close up of the cork board.
Miss J and mommy swimming. She LOVED the water.

She can even kick...all by herself. I think she is going to be a little fishy!!

And our little monster in a cage...she is such a goof!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!