New Wonderful Journey

Halloweenie

2009-11-06T13:18:00.004-06:00

Does anyone else just really dislike the way blogger uploads pictures...they aren't in the order I chose them, then there are big spaces and I can never upload the next round of them at the end...they end up at the top. Ugh...dislike, dislike, dislike.

Anyway...here are the kids at halloween. We only hit a couple of neighbors houses because it was really cold and the kids were being crabs. Plus we were having some friends over for Chili and time was just running out. But, they got the jist of it...and had their hayday at Daycare earlier in the week...so they got their fill!!

Miss J as a little Lady Bug

JW...a dinosaur...with wings. He was so stiking cute trying to walk around in this thing!!

Trying to get the two of them to take a picture together...haaa!

JW taking candy...he just kept taking more and more.

This was our neighbor friend who came over for some Chili...he was Dr. Redwolf!! That is their real last name...and he took the part. That name sounds so, well, Doctorish, doesn't it? He even had the McDreamy hair under that cap...too cute!

My favorite fall pic of Miss J. In the leaves!

My mom thinks JW looks like Dennis the Menace...I don't see the resemblance, do you?

The BIGGEST LEAF in the world!!!

Have a great weekend!

Happy Halloween!!

2009-10-30T12:30:00.001-05:00

Happy Halloween from the P's!!

This was another photo that I loved...of me and Miss J.

Cherished!

B-day pics and Jack in the box...

2009-10-15T13:27:00.003-05:00

Mama's creation...JW's birthday was all about construction trucks. I found this Tonka set at the store with trees and cones and trucks, then decorated with oreos for dirt/rocks and graham crackers for the road...I think it turned out pretty good for an over stressed, amature, mom of two!!!

He liked the cake...wasn't too sure at first, but then he relized it was sugar and good...

Miss J got a Barbie guitar for her B-day...and JW just LOVES it!! He walks all over the house with it and dances.

Kids a Nana's house...Miss J combing JW's hair.

Jack in the Box!!

Josey in the Box!!!

A sinful habit

2009-10-09T15:41:00.004-05:00

So, I will admit it...I have a shopping habit. I never would have admitted that before, and I sure thought I had a bad shopping habit when I was single and had just gotten my first job (you know, all that new cash flow and living on your own...you were "entitled" to the stuff).

And I admit this in the midst of trying REALLY hard to budget and watch our $$ flow and only use cash or our debit cards and to only buy what we really need!! Haaa.

Now I know there are times when I go a little overboard with shopping (clothes, candles, kitchen stuff, gadgets), but those always seemed like well deserved trips. You know, you got a bonus, there is a big event coming up, or...just because you have been good for so long and you deserve it!!

Now, I KNOW that I am not alone in this (please, tell me I am not!!) I think everyone on a budget or with kids or that are just women struggle with this. I know women that go on huge shopping sprees then hide the bags in the trunk of their car and take them out little by little so that their husbands don't razz them for buying so much stuff. I am not one of those. And honestly, I really wouldn't consider myself one that had this habit. Because, you know, my shopping was always justified. I didn't hoard it or keep it from anyone. I didn't spend hundreds and hundreds - or even thousands - at one time (just over a couple of weeks!!). I would only go when I needed something new to replace something old, or something new to fit in, or for a new event...justified.

Until I started noticing that I would get that "high" from it. Just a little one, for a small moment...then maybe again when I used that item or wore it for the first time and got that "ata boy" comment from someone.

Then, I noticed it again when I tried to NOT shop. When I tried to use cash or a debit card. I noticed it wasn't as much fun, because I would see it come out of my account that day or I would no longer have that cash in my purse.

Now that bad habit sticks out like a thorn. Every time I buy something I really don't need, that thorn jabs me in the thumb...then another jab when I have to come home and show my husband what I bought...and then again when I wear it or use it and remember that I really didn't need it...it was just a desire...that I wanted at that moment...that now very small moment where I felt that woof of a "high". Yeah...that one.

Sucks.

Really sucks.

Because now I really have to figure out why I was doing what I was doing. That "sin thing", that thorn that is jabbing me. Ugh...I don't want to face it. I don't want to confess it. I don't want to give it up and turn it over to God.

I just want to SHOP...I want to have more money in my account so that I CAN shop and don't have to worry about the sin part of it. Yeah, because more money makes it better. Isn't that what society tells us?

More money.

More stuff.

More happiness!!!

Haaa, what a flipping joke!

Funny thing though...I am also realizing this about my eating habits. I hoard and hide and stuff my mouth so fast with that mmm mmm good stuff so that I don't have to think about it and ponder it and wonder why am I really desiring this stuff. Why am I wanting to eat all this crap food that is only making me feel horrible. Often, it is stress, anxiety, and those words of the devil telling me "you deserve it". Ugh...I am so keenly aware of this now...and it sucks!!

Another funny thing...this comes at a time when I just started a new small group and we are studying the book of 1John. And we are talking about sin and confession. Hmmm. And I had a heck of a time this past week on the study...wonder why.

Isn't that just like God though?

JW is 1-year

2009-10-09T16:04:00.002-05:00

I cannot believe it either.

JW is a year old. where did the time go? How did he get so big so quickly?

He is walking. He is into EVERYTHING. He has almost 8-teeth. He is sounding out words. He is done with formula. He is kind of trying to eat with a fork (ok, he really just plays with it). He giggles when we tickle his toes...heck when we just take off his shoes, he has this sly smile that says "whaaaat are youuu doing??!!"

I love this boy. As fussy and crabby as he can be...I love him.

We have his birthday party this weekend. It will be construction trucks...as I eluded to in this post. I have decided to make my own cake. I think it will turn out really cute. I found some tonka trucks and will use crushed oreos and graham crackers for dirt and roads. I am excited to try it. No smash cake though...really...in the essence of trying to save a bit of money...I thought I would pass on that extra $10-15 not to mention $20+ for the cake. I think it will be just as well.

Tomorrow we have family pictures...outside. An extended family member does photography as a side job and he will be doing or pictures. I am really excited to use him and hope to get great photos. Looking for something different than the standard studio photos we have been getting for the past 3-years. Those were OK, but I hope for some really original fall outdoorsy type this time. And he is charging us like close to nothing...for the shoot and then for rights to the CD of pictures. Really...I was spending over $100 on the shoot and pictures, and usually it would be another $20-50 for the CD. But then what was the purpose of the CD because I had already bought the pictures I wanted and for the family. This time, I will get the pics taken and the CD for $75 and then post them online (snap fish or shutter fly) and then let the family pick out what they want and print them as they please. A LOT less stress and worry am I going to pick the right one, the right size, for the right person...not to mention pay for them!! Now they can do it themselves.

So please pray for a nice sunny day. It is only supposed to be about 50/55 degrees...wish it were warmer, but I will be happy with sunshine and NO RAIN!!

So, very busy weekend ahead. Will post when we get the pics from the birthday and our shoot!

Boat...and Apple and Berry Pickin Weekend!!

2009-09-22T13:15:00.001-05:00

2009-September

2009-09-13T21:57:00.003-05:00

Click here to view these pictures larger

Happy Birthday Little Girl

2009-09-03T13:13:00.002-05:00

Yes...my little girl is growing up. I cannot believe Miss J is now 3 years old!!! I was remembering last night about going to the hospital 3 years ago and walking around the halls for hours and hours and then getting something to relax me so we could sleep a few hours...and it wasn't until 3:34pm today that she was born. Only after about 15 minutes of pushing too...whew. But the long drawn out pre-labor stuff what what wore me out.

So, Happy Birthday my favorite little girl! Cannot believe how grown up you are and how much fun you have become.

She brought in rice crispy treats and some fruit pops for her friends at school (what an ordeal trying to find something, mainly cupcakes, that are made without peanuts and in a peanut free environment...ugh...so we opted for something else).

Tonight we will open some presents/cards, have a birthday dinner, and maybe a cupcake.

Then, Monday, we will celebrate with her Elephant Circus party!!! Too fun!!

Our dog, Bella's, birthday was on Wednesday...so we celebrated by putting candles on a pound cake and singing to her...I don't think she really got what we were doing...but she liked the cake!!

Bella has been a little off since we had to put Star (our cat) down. I think she knows something isn't right, and wonders why that little furry thing that she used to chase around the house and used to taunt her during the day while she is in her house, is no longer here...hmmm.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, putting Star down. I know it was the right thing to do. I got confirmation of that from my mom, and the doctor, and others. At least I know where she is going, unlike taking her to a shelter where I wouldn't know if someone would ever adopt her or love her like we did, or if they would end up putting her down anyway...so at least I know where she is, and will put the ashes right up on the book shelf with my dad, my FIL, and my grandma (haaa...a little morbid shrine!). I miss her, and still think I hear her in the cat box now and again, or hear something in the house and think it is her. They gave us a paw print casting of her so we could decorate it. Miss J and I enjoyed doing that...and then we will put a ribbon through it and maybe hang it somewhere in memory.

Miss J still thinks she is coming home...and she keeps saying, "when kitty comes home, we will show her the paw print we made and she will be so happy..." I keep telling her that kitty is home, with Jesus and Papa, up in heaven. She kind of gets it, but still thinks she is coming home. It is fading a bit though.

So...life is good, busy, but good. Will post pics of B-days soon.

Need Prayers today

2009-08-26T10:01:00.003-05:00

I did it...for tonight...5:30.

I made an appt at the vet to have my kitty put to sleep. Ugh...there is just no easy answer. I don't know that else to to. And I keep toiling do I just take her to a shelter and let them try to find a foster home, but being so old, they may possibly just have to put her to sleep. But then it wouldn't cost me $200. But then I wouldn't have the ashes either, and wouldn't have peace of mind of knowing what happened to her...

There is no easy answer. No easy decision. And this morning, after I found another round of poop on the new rug in our laundry room (which is her new place to go lately...not sure why...but better then on the carpet)...I made the decision to call today and make an appt. And what do you know, they had multiple openings today...OK, make the decision.

I asked if my mom would go with me for some moral support...and of course, she is trying some last ditch efforts to find another alternative. She is so funny, she tells me that it is the right thing to do, but then when it comes down to the wire, she falters and causes me to second guess.

So, I need lots of prayer today ladies. For me, for my kitty, for my mom, for my family. Just peace and contentment in the decision, and knowing she is going to be better off, and our family is going to better off (I mean, really, I can't wait to NOT have a cat box).

I tried to tell Miss J this morning that we may be taking kitty to the vet tonight...and she kept asking why and where she is going. So I said that she is going to have to go be with Papa (my DH's dad that passed 2-yrs ago) in heaven. And so she asked if our doggy Bella could go too. I thought it was cute...like she thought it was a good thing to go be with Papa, which it is...

I know there will be questions from her, but I think most of all she won't be too phased by it. Mostly me. I am the one attached and have been with her for 12+ years. I am the one justifying this and trying to make myself feel a little better by getting her ashes back so that I can put her with my dad, my grandma, my FIL on the mantel. Pretty picture, huh.

Prayers...please...this is pretty hard for me and I just hope that I can process it better than expected. I know that God can bring peace and understanding and comfort...I just need to ask.

Blessings.

Random Thoughts

2009-08-25T15:15:00.002-05:00

Random thoughts...

#1 -going to copy and paste something from an email to blogger...and it doesn't keep the darn formatting!!!! Yeah...went through this whole thing and spaced it out...now you better read it!!!

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
-That's enough, Nickelback.
-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
-There is a great need for sarcasm font.
-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.
-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
- Was learning cursive really necessary?
- Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood..
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water..
- I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."
-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
- Bad decisions make good stories
-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste..
-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

Oh Fun

2009-08-24T16:08:00.002-05:00

So Miss J started in her new class today. I think I was more excited (and worried) than she was.

I have been asking them to move her up to the 3's room for weeks now. All of her other (close) friends already moved up - their birthdays were July/Aug - and Miss J's isn't until Sept 3rd. So really, I guess they didn't have to move her up because of her birthday and the whole "cut-off" date in Illinois is Sept 1st...but I have been asking.

Mainly because we have noticed a difference in how she has been acting. A lot more "I can do it!!" kind of attitudes, a lot more sassing back, a lot more temper tantrums (which, honestly, a lot more means a couple a week...she really is a good kid overall and thus these tiny outbursts make us wake up and take notice). So we weren't really sure what is just her age, and what is because she is the mother hen of the group and is able to tell others what to do and not to do, etc.

I was hoping to be able to tell the difference once she got into the 3's room because she would be with the older kids again and no longer the head honcho...we notice she admires older kids a lot, and kind of fears (the good kind) them. Kind of puts her in check. So I was hoping.

But, come to find out, she is only moving up to the 2/3's room, which is mainly the same kids she has been with the past 6-8 weeks, only with birthdays in late Aug/Sept time frame. So really, she isn't going to be with the older kids...yet. And I am not sure the whole story, when they will move her up officially, is this temporary? They now have 3-3's rooms...yea, that many 3 yr olds...and I know really it comes down to numbers and teachers...but at least communicate something to the parents?!?! I guess I need to go to them and ask...

So when I went in this morning, I took her to a new room, where all the kids were combined until about 8:30-9am when more kids come in and then they move them to their separate rooms. Well I was hoping to talk to a teacher or someone to let me know what I was supposed to do/expect? And I was expecting Miss J to be clinging to my leg...uh...nope...she was like "bye mom, kiss kiss." No fear...like she knew exactly what she was doing, and there wasn't even other kids there that she knew...guess she felt confident enough.

So we will see how her day went...and see if I can talk to someone tonight when I pick her up. How exciting...I guess more for me than her...my little girl is growing up.

And JW...almost to walking. He has taken a couple of small stumble steps. We bought him some Stride Rite hard soled shoes so he could start trying to walk with them...and I think it makes a difference. So it shouldn't be too long and he will be stumbling around getting into more things. He already tries to crawl up all the step stools or anything his height that he can get up on...he is playing in the toilet and dog water bowl (loves to play with water). Crazy...into so much more than Miss J ever was. Wow, what a difference between boys and girls.

On another note...I think I am going to have my cat put to sleep this week. I really have toiling over and over on this. I have really tried everything, I can't find anyone interested in a 13yr old cat, and really the only health thing wrong with her is that she is old (and I think getting a bit senile)..and the peeing/pooping in the house has to stop. Now please don't give me the "oh, did you try this or that or what about..." really, I have. And honestly if there was another option, I would try it. I have had her for 12 yrs and really, I have been struggling with having to let her go for months now. What to do? I just think this is the best option I have right now...of course, if you or anyone you know would like a very loving but somewhat independent cat that is 13yrs old and in good health. I really don't think she would pee in someone elses house...I think it is because all of these people are invading her territory (husband, dog, 2-kids). When it was just her and I for 8 years.

Anyway...trying to come to terms with that. Otherwise, life is good. I will promise to post pics soon. Sorry.

Life with me...

2009-08-14T21:09:00.004-05:00

OH...I am here, I am here. It is so sweet to know y'all are wondering about me...OK, about all two of you!! haaa

Things have just been busy, trying to keep my head (the family's head) above water.

JW started to sleep through the night a bit better. And I didn't really have to bear the CIO thing. Actually, we started using a fan and that lasted a few nights. Then my mom took the kids for a night and she didn't use anything and he slept through the night, and has continued to sleep, without any kind of noise. Then we tried the fan again...so I would say 4-5 nights a week he sleeps through. But now he is up at 5am...and not wanting to go back to sleep. But, I really won't complain...better to sleep 6 hours straight then to be up a few times a night.

So JW is 10 months!! I cannot believe it!! Miss J was walking at this age, and JW is well on his way. Standing, cruising...and kind of walking with help. So any day...I tell you. The great (OK, really scary) thing is, is he is going to be a dare devil...not scared of anything. You know our new swingset...well Miss J loves to go down ths bump slide head first. So JW saw her do this, and started jumping and getting excited, so Dad took him up to the loft of the swing set, and off he went. He crawled over to the slide, and with no hesitation, put his arms out in front of him and down he went...arms/head first, with no fear!! Ahhh, I could not beleive it. So he did it over and over again. We got video because we couldn't believe it...and it was so stinking funny!! Boy, what are we in store for?

Miss J...yea...terrible threes. I just want to squeeze her because she pushes all of those buttons that kids do. Bedtime, meal time, getting ready in the morning. "I don't want to", or "But I want it" are her two favorite things to say right now. Showing her independence no doubt. I think some of it has to do with the fact that she is now the oldest kid in her class at daycare. She is still in her twos room while all her other friends, whom she moved with from infants to tods to 2's, have all moved up to the 3's room...but not her yet. So I think some of this is because she is the "head of the class" and is able to do more things and lead more than the others. So she thinks she knows it all and knows what is right and wrong. Ugh...I think she does so much better when she is surrounded buy older kids that she looks up to and "fears", you know, that good kind of fear...respect. So, in a couple of weeks she will be up in the next room...and I hope to see a change.

All this does is really confirm that we want to try to test her into kindergarten early. Her birthday is Sept 3rd and the cut off for kindergarten is Sept 1st. She is so stinking close...so I am going to look into testing her in and seeing what is involved with trying to get her in early. I know the controversy about all of that...but when I see the difference between the two, I think we need to seriously look into it. We have thought about this for awhile now...and of course, we think she is the smartest stinking thing in the world...but this just confirms it more. So we will see in a couple of weeks if her moving up makes a difference.

Last weekend we went to our church's Leadership Conference. Willow heads up one of the largest worldwide leadership conferences each year...and we got to be at the main sight...pretty cool. This is my second conference, and I was so influenced by all of the speakers and leaders. Wow...I have found this heart for the poor and the impoverished children from those under resourced countries. It has been the past year or soo that my heart has just ached for these people. I don't know where it came from, but to say it came from God. He is working on my heart and showing me things I never thought would tug me. A Hole in our Gospel, is a book that started it all. Written by the CEO of World Vision...his story is just amazing. I am sad that I still have yet to complete the book...it has been a few months...but I really want to and every time I even get to read a few pages I leave with tears. So at the leadership conference, there was yet another speaker/book that I was called to read. The CEO of Compassion International was there to tell his story of his childhood and how it impacted him and called him to help those under resourced. He wrote Too Small to Ignore, Help a Child and Change the World. So when I heard he was speaking and saw the book, I kind of said to myself...hmm, yea, I should read that book too...but I haven't finished that other book yet, so really I shouldn't run out and buy another one since I haven't finished the first...and then...the said that everyone at the conference would be getting a free copy of the book...OK, God...I guess I need to read this too. His story just tore me apart too...gosh.

I wish you could have heard even just one of these speakers...

So, lots of stuff, I don't know what else to share with you because there is a lot.

Miss J's 3rd birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. She picked out her theme of an Elephant Three Ring Circus.

Her idea, course it will be a circus.

And then she also chose a theme for JW's first birthday in October.

And I was able to find free...yes free custom invitations from Shutterfly with the same construction truck theme. Just has to pay shipping. So, I did it...how fun, huh.

Work is busy, and I am trying NOT to do too much online and not kill time, that is a difficult one.

I have been back on Weight Watchers...lost almost 10 lbs in about 8 weeks and have another 10 to go!! I know it could come off quicker if I were more disciplined...but I just LOVE food and am trying to balance it out. I am working on building up that running endurance, and doing the same Couch to 5K that Maria is doing...so encouraged by her...I think she just ran her first 5K too...I need to check her blog.

Trying to stick to a budget...ugh...hate that word. Not easy, especially when you look at the income and outcome and it is negative...but some how God continues to bless us each week. Hopefully some options with daycare, and a new neighbor down the street who has an in home daycare. May use her for a couple of days a week to save some $$$.

OH...and how do I give up my cat. My cat of 12 years (she is 13)...and just does not like the new additions to the family...and she is letting us know. We are trying everything to not have to get rid of her...but once they pee in once place, they continue to and nothing can stop them. No cleaner, no blocking the area...nothing. Some of it could be her age though too. We took her to the vet and she is overall healthy, obese, but healthy, so we put her on some kitty Prozac which worked a bit, but didn't solve the problem. And I can't find any no kill shelter that will take cats, let alone senior cats. So my option is to try to find anyone that would take her (which is difficult if I tell them she is starting to pee in the house...though I don't think she would do that in a home that didn't have a husband, two new kids, and a dog to p#$@ her off). I sent an email out to friends and family to ask if anyone knew anyone, my next resort is to put random ads out, and my last resort will be to, ahem, put her down. I just don't know how to do that without the moral and guilt implications that come along with putting down an otherwise healthy cat. Ugh...

So, I guess that is a good summary of my life for now. Prayers are welcome for all that is going on for us. We both have grandparents in the hospital and having health issues. And just like most/all of us, struggling with this economy. But, honestly, I cannot and will not complain when I think about the children and families in those under resourced countries, who may go days without food, who have parent dying daily of Aids and health related issues, who live on less than $1 a day...yeah...I REALLY have it good. Thank you and Praise you God!!! Please bless these families and children who don't even have a fraction or any awareness of what I have or struggle with every day. Amen!

Prayers for each of you...I know not many of you blog any more, most of you are on FB and I don't even have an account so don't keep up. Miss you and miss hearing about your lives. Keep in touch.

Oh, and I have so many pictures to download...so one day soon I will do a photo blog to catch up.

Bringing Out the Best in Our Children

2009-08-14T09:04:00.002-05:00

From Proverbs 31 Ministries

Bringing Out the Best in Our Children
14 Aug 2009
Glynnis Whitwer

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." Hebrews 10:24 (NIV)

I threw up my hands in despair, and sighed with a dramatic and disgusted exhale of breath. At that moment, all five of my children were the focus of my frustration. I was tired of correcting the same behaviors, the same tones of voices, and the same irresponsibility from the same children. It had not been a good day, and I told them so –individually and collectively – in not-so-nice terms.

The lecture ended and they all went their own way, as upset and annoyed as me. Instead of changing their behaviors and attitudes, the negativity went underground. We were like a simmering pot, ready to blow its lid. My angry response only exacerbat ed the problem, not helped it. What I wanted was for them to get along, speak kindly to each other and do their chores respectfully. What I got was more of the same.

As I returned to my own chores, I realized how ineffective my tirade had been in achieving my true goals. While I got them to stop bickering momentarily, I hadn't really made an impact on their hearts. In fact, I'd done more harm than good by not modeling gentle and respectful words. The rest of the day confirmed the truth: I'd not brought out the best in my children. I just stamped down the bad for a while. My children are not so different from me. I know how I feel when someone speaks in an angry tone to me. It certainly doesn't spur me on to show kindness to them. In fact, I tend to take my frustration out on someone else. That's just what happened in my family that day. We had a domino effect of irritation.

In Hebrews 10, verse 24, the Bible encourages us to "spur one another on toward love and good de eds." In my experience personally and with my children, showing love and good deeds spurs others on to show more love and good deeds. The Bible also tells us that we reap in greater measure than what we sow (Hosea 8:7). Which means love multiplies more love, and kindness multiplies more kindness.

As a mom, I have an opportunity to bring out the best in my children. But it consistently means I have to bring out the best in me. I can't model impatient behavior and expect my kids to learn patience. I can't model a self-focused lifestyle and expect my kids to learn how to serve others. Nor can I model an ultra-busy schedule and expect my kids to find time for God in theirs. Spurring my children on to greater love and good deeds means they need to learn it by watching and listening to me.

Dear Lord, thank You for calling me to be the mother of my children. I confess that at times I fall far short of where I want to be in this area of my life. I know I can't do this high calling of motherhood without Your Spirit within me. Help me to submit my selfish will to Your perfect way. Thank You for loving me and seeing my potential to grow and change. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Need some good mommy help

2009-07-13T09:22:00.003-05:00

OK, need some baby/kid advice!!

9-month old...

Still up multiple times in the night, just crying, not hungry or anything. Just sits/stands himself up in his crib, I think while sleeping, then wakes up and realizes he is awake and cries and cries. Me, being the light sleeper, am conditioned from him having colic, to run in there, put his bink back in his mouth, and lay him down...he falls right back to sleep and then I am right back to sleep. Problem is he often does this between 1-4 times a night. So yes, I get right back to sleep, but I don't think I have had more than 4-hours of straight sleep in months. Ugh...he should be completely sleeping through the night at this age!!

I have tried the Cry it out...and he cries for like 40 minutes straight. Miss J would go maybe 15/20 min...so 40 min I am dying!! And I know a couple of nights of this would break him of it...but the thought of me being awake for that long, multiple times a night, for a few nights in a row...just exhausts me. But the thought of waking up multiple times, running in there, and going back to sleep, sounds so much more appealing!! I know...doesn't make sense.

So, what else can I do, any thoughts or tricks or things that have worked for you moms? I think a few things are happening that make him wake up...he loses his binky, he rolls over and sits up and then stands up, while sleeping, then gets scared and cries when he wakes up. I don't think it is noise in his room, he has a sound machine, just like Miss J did, plus a fan since it has been warm lately at night. So, what else, any tricks you can think of??

2yr 10month old...

Not listening, and not responding to questions asked. I swear, I just want to shake this girl and tell her to "ANSWER ME"!!! I ask her what she would like for breakfast...no answer...she just keeps doing what she is doing. I tell her to go get her shoes/socks on in the mornings...no answer, keeps doing what she is doing...until I YELL!! Ugh...I hate that, I am not a yeller at all (that is DH's job...haaa). So I yell, she jumps and goes into the other room so I think she is getting her shoes/socks on. This just happened this morning...so I walk into the living room and she is on the couch with her blanket and bear and pillow...I asked her "what did mommy just ask you to do?"...and she jumps up and goes to do it. Now, I am pretty sure it is deliberate. I don't think she honestly forgot what I asked her to do...sometimes she does get sidetracked by something...but I think most of the time she just doesn't do what I ask.

Anyone else have this problem? Is it just the age that she is at...the "terrible three's?" I hate giving her time outs, for a couple of reasons. First...honestly...it takes up too much time and my whole morning is then put on hold and I become late. But, I know that is not a good excuse...though I sometimes use it!! Second...I know she can do better and knows better. We really haven't needed to do many time outs with her...she has been a good listener and minds us very well. There are the one offs where we do the time out and it really makes a difference...but it is maybe one a week, usually less. She just does what we say...for the most part. Until lately!

So, I think she is just testing us and her boundaries. So the fact we haven't had to use many time outs, makes mom and dad out of practice and then when we finally get to the point of a time out...she has already pushed us too far and now it is a drawn out yelling screaming crying fit that sometimes causes the time out to last and last...ugh. I just dread them.

Two questions I guess...is anyone else going through this at this age? She is also now the "head of the classroom", her and a couple other girls are the oldest in their daycare class. Her best friend (the one that always bosses her around) has moved up. So I wonder if it has anything to do with that...her stating her independence and leadership and big girl of the classroom kind of qualities? Of just an age thing?

Second...I need some good time out tips. Like I said, we haven't had to use them much, and I know the basic concept...but any good tips? She always cries and cries and cries...throughout the time out and often past it as we won't let her come out of time out until she is done crying. Is this normal and will it subside? Or is that just part of the time out?

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I probably know the answers to all of these questions...but I am just exhausted and had it up to my eyebrows lately...and just thought I would throw out a signal for help and support and see if any of you have any good thoughts/tips for me. Really...two kids can be trying, I just want to scream a lot of the time...but then of course there are those precious times when the two are playing and sharing and giggling together that just make me smile and take a deep breath of relief. I need more of those though, and less of the other junk!!

OK, enough beefing about my anxiety! Hope to hear from y'all...need some help ladies!!

Have a great week!

Run Pics

2009-06-26T16:13:00.002-05:00

OK...just to toot my horn...and because I cannot believe there is a picture like this of me!!! Don't I look like I am working REALLY hard! HAAAAA!!

Whew...

2009-06-25T12:08:00.003-05:00

So, I did it. I just completed my two mile run for the Relay for Life (Cancer Society). Our company every year holds a fundraiser. We all create teams, have fund raisers, and compete in a 2 mile run/walk. Then the CEO matches up to $4K of what we raise...since we have had many cuts in our staff, the groups were less and the fundraising was a little less...but the fact that our company holds this, to raise money in support of the Cancer Society...I am proud to be part of it.

So this year a group of us girls decided to run. Five of us, and two were regular runners, one just started the WW and exercise thing in February and has lost 50lbs so she was cooking, and then the other two of us were just so so runners. I used to run for a few miles at a time, but haven't gotten back up to par yet since having JW. So I took the challenge and have been "training" the past month. I sure thought 2miles would be a breeze, come on, it isn't like 26.2 miles or anything...measly 2 miles! I can do that. I was also mixing in some P90X cardio training, and some weight training. Overall, I think I overdid it. Too much too quick, and I have been hurting. All over. Joints, muscles. Ugh.

So now I can take a break...I did it...I finished the 2miles...though in last place...I finished! It was, however, 96 degrees outside though...so I can use that as a bit of an excuse...not much...but nonetheless.

So, yeah, I have been training hard for a month now...and no weight change. What the heck? I have even been eating a LOT better, not WW better, but not binging as much as I was a month ago. I will admit my clothes fit a little better, but I am trying to get into that size 10 that I have an abundance of summer clothes for. Size 12's, some are too big, but the size 10's are too tight. I hate the in between. So 5-10 lbs and I would be golden. I wouldn't even try to push myself to get into those size 8's that I have a container of upstairs in the attic. I would be satisfied with size 10. Who knows...keep it up and I will get there, I know.

I think I might do a month of WW and try to kick it into gear. I know it works...I just have to find the time and patience and commitment for it. I think I am getting there, and a months worth of membership may do me good. I just hate to throw money away if I am not going to follow through...we will see.

On another note, DH still has his job. I think he gets all worried when the end of the month comes around and numbers aren't where they should be. But so far so good. So thank you for your support to my last email, and your prayers!!

Kids are good...I just love them to death. Here are some new pics that I got taken for JW's 8month pics!! Have a great weekend.

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I laugh...this will be a good picture to pull out when Miss J gets married or something. Haa...the family portrait!

This was the start of our playset project...doesn't look like a lot of wood, does it?

Our little helper! She loves power tools.

Not really the "finished" product, but close to it. I have to upload the finished product still. This is the fort and the slide. There is also a 4-position swing beam and a huge canopy top.

Look, Mr. and Mrs. P

Miss J loves to lay her "kids" down to sleep. I think it looks like a crime scene some times becuase sometimes they have blankets over their heads...too funny.

Let YOUR will be done...

2009-06-18T14:05:00.004-05:00

I just have to do a quick post, because it is on my mind.

Let YOUR will be done...I find a lot of peace in these words for some reason.

My hubby just called and said he "had that feeling" about work again. That feeling of he might be getting let go/fired. Lately that feeling has not been true, as he has had that feeling for the past 6-months...but he is also pretty aware of that feeling because he has had more than his share of layoffs being in the auto industry he is in. Whatever the case...he dropped this on me at lunch time...and it just puts that weight in my gut that gets my mind wandering and worrying and wondering.

Then a bit later, I just had this peace come over me and I heard a whisper..."Let my will be done."

What is going to happen is going to happen. And if it is God's will to allow that to happen, then He has bigger plans for us, whatever they may be...He knows, not us.

Have a great weekend if I don't blog again soon!

You know your a mom when...

2009-06-15T10:42:00.002-05:00

You open your purse to find:

*anti bacterial hand sanitizer...three bottles just in case
*one of your kids socks...just one
*a pile of receipts from one or all of the following - walmart, target, gymboree, carters, menards...and dunkin donuts for that morning coffee!!
*coupons scattered about even though you have a handy dandy coupon organizer
*two random pieces of gum, one unwrapped and stuck to the inside
*a fishy cracker
*a hair scrunchy and two hair clips - versatile for you or your daughter
*two tubes of hand lotion, one empty because it is all over the inside of your purse
*at least two chapsticks, one for you and one for your daughter
*a pile of loose change at the bottom because your change purse opened up some time last week
*an invitation to a wedding shower you forgot to RSVP to
*a few bills you forgot to pay last week
*a broken pair of sunglasses that you continue to wear because you can't find another pair that fit you this good
*keys, somewhere

What do you have in your purse!!

If you build it

2009-06-02T15:12:00.004-05:00

So we got it up...finally, after two weekends (one being a 3-day weekend). With two kids, don't EVER try to do anything that you expect to only take a weekend or less. It just doesn't work. If one isn't trying to "help" by banging the hammer on the soft pine wood that you are trying to put up, the other one is fussing because he wants to be held...no wait...he wants to be put down...no wait...he wants to be held but squirm all over...oh, now it is time to eat again...now it is time to nap (but only for 1/2 hour which is just enough time to get rolling on the thing and then need to stop)...ugh...that was my memorial day weekend.

I will confess, the day we got the most done is the day my hubbys friend and fiance came over to help. It was amazing how much two guys can get hammered out...with direction of course!

So we finished it up this past weekend. We didn't get to the swingset part, it rained on Monday, but we got it up and the swings up on Sunday this past weekend!! We have a borrowed childs swing that we set up and put JW in it...he dozed right off!! Hmmm, this will be good. We got the slide up Memorial day weekend and was able to have Miss J slide down...too fun! We don't have the sandbox done (we have a turtle sandbox that we might put under the fort for now...sandbox covers are NOT cheap!!) and we still have to find a tarp for the roof. I really wanted to wood shingle it, but DH talked me out of it worried the weight of it wouldn't hold on the "bracing" we had up to make it a mega roof, so then we priced tarps for the mega roof...yeah, again, not cheap. So we are going back and forth if we just make it a smaller normal size with a tarp or shingles (probably same price either way), or leave the extra bracing up there for the mega tarp and drop some extra $$ on the mega tarp. Ugh...

So the cost of this has gotten above what we budgeted!! Isn't that how projects go? Not that much, I mean we still saved a butt load compared to what we would have paid for a comparable size and quality one through a big box store. Probably half as much...if not more. But we worked, hard!! Not for the light headed, not for the novice. The plans were long and strung out, very detailed, but long. You had to read every detail otherwise you might miss the fact that you were supposed to turn the 4x4 to the left to drill the next holes when the visual drawings showed "front view" and "left view" making you think it was the side to the left of the front, not that you had to turn it to the left which would make it the right side of the front...see what I mean. So we did have a few scrap pieces where we didn't read the ALL the directions and when we went to put it together wondered why the pieces didn't fit!! Ahhh, that will be a lesson to you!

But it is up, durable, pretty, and I am glad it is over with!! I do have pictures...but because our home computer has been down for a few weeks, I can't download my pics off my camera...so bear with me and I will post the final product once we get them downloaded!

Other than that...I need a good night sleep. I mean, it is better than when JW was a few months old, but he still wakes up a couple times a night because he rolls over and loses his binky and then can't get back over. Not like he needs to eat or anything, I get up, roll him over, often flip him back the the top of the bed, and put his binky back in...then I am back to sleep. But still, that is disrupted sleep. And I am such a light sleeper anyway, so even the blustery winds we had Sunday night woke me up. Then, if it isn't the weather or JW, it is Miss J, getting up at 4am and coming into our room. It is funny because I hear her crack her door, then close it behind her (not sure why she does this, but she always closes the door behind her...I will like that when she is older), so I know she is on her way to our room, then she wants to come into bed. I tell her she has to go back to her bed and she whines just enough for me to give in...at 4am I am not in any mood to fight especially when I have already been up 3-times with JW. But then in the next half hour I usually lug her back to her bed...so I am up again.

Girl...I need to get a full night sleep!!! It doesn't help with my eating habits, it doesn't help with my energy to exercise, it doesn't help when I get home at night to not want to just sit/lay down on the couch at 8pm and fall asleep!!

So why don't I let JW cry it out...I forget. I am so custom to getting up and putting his bink back in that by the time I open his door and remember it it too late. Or, I am afraid he will wake up Miss J, or that he will get so worked up that he will then be wide awake and not fall back to sleep for anything...when I know that it is probably the best thing for me to do because it will only take a few nights and he will lull himself back to sleep when he wakes up! We did it with Miss J, I just have to be diligent enough to do it with him.

Other than that...kids are healthy (Amen!!), family for the most part are healthy (Amen!) - DH's grandma was just diagnosed with lung cancer, but hopefully it is very treatable - we have our playset up now I am trying to set up a playdate for my mommy friends to let the kids play while mommys have some afternoon sangrias!! Can't wait.

Update from the crypt

2009-05-21T15:13:00.004-05:00

So I have a few moments of downtime...not really, just don't want to do the work I am supposed to be doing...you know how that goes.

So my illness is gone (along with losing 5lbs) and Miss J's illness is gone. Now it is JW's turn. Really, he isn't that sick, except he has that phlegmy rattlebox stuff in his thoat. It isn't in his chest (which is a good thing, no wheezing), but just a horrible cough with this gung in his throat that he can't get out. Doc wanted him on the breathing treatments again, which is NO joy with a 7 month old who doesn't want to sit still, let alone keep this mask on his face for 2-treaments (20 minutes at least). Yea...not much fun to try to do twice a day. And the thing that stinks, it has been a week and I don't see ANY improvement. It isn't worse, but not better. So is it worth the hassle with the treatments, I don't know...guess I will wait for the doc to call back.

And around the same time he started having this gunk in his throat with a cough, I stopped sending breast milk to school for him (because my production tanked, also due to the illness I had), so we were doing formula full time. I decided on the generic Walmart version to save money...and he seemed to be taking it OK when there was BM for a couple of bottles too...but when we switched to all formula...the intake dropped, and in some cases, he refused bottles throughout the day. He went from drinking 3-6oz BM bottles at school a day, to MAYBE taking 6 oz TOTAL of formula a day. What the heck happened. So the teacher at school mentioned that maybe he didn't like the formula brand and that maybe we needed a fast flow nipple. So that night we went out and got a small container of similac and fast flow nipples. The next day, he drank a little better, but that is when this gunk in the throat really started.

So I thought maybe he was having a reaction to milk based formula (he after all had not so good reactions when I drank too much milk or ate too much cheese), so we bought a soy based similac...drank a little more, but through the next week, still was only drinking about 6oz a day at school and refusing bottles.

I was still able to nurse morning/night with him (my milk came right back after I was done being sick...I sure thought that illness of not eating/drinking for 3-days would have ended it). So he nurses pretty OK with me, but doesn't like the formula thing at all. Then I thought maybe it was a similac thing, so I tried enfamil milk based...refused it. Back to soy similac, seemed to take it a bit better.

WE have been trying to work in more formula by mixing it with his cereal (which by the way he eats cereal and homade puree like it is going out of style. I think he would eat 8oz of food in a sitting if I let him...he is actually eating like 3-4 times a day!!) So he doesn't seem to mind it mixed with cereal, and he is getting a little better with his bottles, but he is still only at ~8 oz of bottles a day...which is so weird.

I don't know if it is him being sick, if it is formula in general, if it is a milk based thing, if it is a brand thing, if it is him teething (he has two little teethers coming in). Ugh...I don't know. But I am tired of buying different brands and types of formula only to have him turn it down. I am hoping it is something simple that he will work out of and eventually not care what kind of formula he is getting and eventually be able to use up the extras I got (within a month or so of course...you know how that formula "goes bad" or so they say...it is just a ploy to get you to buy more and use more...drives me nuts you can't reheat a bottle of formula and have to use it within an hour of making...come on people. That is why I liked mommys milk better, you can let it sit out or reheat it with not too many worries...sorry, I digress).

I definatly don't want to have to go to that allergen free stuff that is the price of gold!! Don't want ot go there...I had a dream last night that we did and I was NOT happy. Starting off with the cheap stuff because I didn't think it mattered with him (Miss J had weird allergies so I didn't even bother trying the cheaper stuff)...and then after all of this having to go to the most expensive stuff. Really, it better not go that route!! JW is supposed to be an easy baby!!

So this weekend we have a plan. A plan for a 3-day weekend to build a wooden playset. And the key word is build...us...me and hubby...together...alone...with only a set of plans and some wood and screws. Yes, we found plans online, and have ordered the wood and bolts/nuts/materials and are having them delivered tomorrow. We just bought the slide at Home Depot, I ordered the swings and monkey bars online...yes, we are really doing this from scratch. No big box pre cut wood or anything. Scratch. What was I thinking???

Well, we were thinking of saving over $600+ and getting the playset that we really want. Durable, strong, big deck size, expandable if needed. Not one of those skimpy ones that a grown up can't even swing on because the weight limit is like 60lbs!! This one we could proabably have 6 adults swing on and play on and it won't budge.

This is a pic of what we are building!!

We really wanted to get a playset for Miss J this summer, and when we started looking all the ones we liked were over $1800. Uh, yeah, way outside our budget. We even looked on craigslist and places like that and couldn't find one that was under $1200 or if it was, it was 12+ years old and worn out. So we went the do it yourself way. I will let you know how much progress we actually make this weekend with two kids and only two of us trying to build it!! We do have grandmas and aunties coming out to help with the kids, but it won't be like we have 10 hours straight each day to work work work. I will still have to assist, I am sure, with the kids now and then. We shall see...maybe it will be better than I think! Pray it will be!!

And lastly, our computer is bombed. I am so pe-oed. We can't even get it booted up, we keep getting an error and I am in no mood to pay $200 right now to have someone fix it. I am trying to figure it out on my own, but aside from buying a backup hardrive ($100) and figuring out how to load our stuff from one computer to the backup, then reformatting the entire computer...I don't know what to do. I can't even start it in safe mode to fix it...it sucks. So I can't download any of the new pics we have. Oh well, something will happen.

Hope all is well, let me see if there are any new pics I have that I haven't shared with y'all...

JW and mom on mommy's day!!

Monday

2009-05-11T16:00:00.002-05:00

Hey, quick update...

Miss J is better, she was able to go back to school on Thursday, after a doctors note and after 24hrs of no illness. Then, lo and behold, mommy got it Thursday afternoon. Ugh...just the intestinal part, no vomiting. But I did have a low grade fever. Needless to say, I was sick until late yesterday...feeling a bit better today. Great diet...lost 5lbs over the weekend!! Wasn't my plan, really wanted to use exercise and eating healthy...but I guess this kick started it!

So hopefully the P's are done with this stuff now. No fun being sick and taking time off of work and school and doc appts and drugs...

Awhile back someone asked me what homemade baby food cookbook I am using. Honestly, the one I used with Miss J I borrowed from a coworker and had to give it back. So I thought I had found its replacement at a resale place awhile back and since I have been using it I know it is not the same...don't like it so much. So, I found the one I borrowed and used with Miss J on Amazon for like 2$ and 4$ shipping...so I will post it because it is awesome and so easy and gives small portion sizes (rather than boiling up an entire bag of potatoes) plus gives microwave tips...which is how I did everything.

Mommy Made and Daddy Too! (Revised): Home Cooking for a Healthy Baby & Toddler

I make medium sized batches, then put them into ice cube trays (1oz servings) freeze them, and put the cubes into zip lock bags and freeze...then take out the cubes as I need them and nuke them or whatever...E-Z

My tip for the day...have a great Monday.

#1 Today, Praise God

2009-05-05T21:01:00.003-05:00

I am stressed beyond belief. I am exhausted about being stressed. And I am burnt out about being exhausted.

On a good note...I have some praise God moments going on too.

Two weeks ago I took Miss J to get her ears checked out by the ENT (the one that put the tubes in her ears over two years ago, which fell out in February), but we have been worried about her ears again lately. Small things like when she says "school", it sounds a little bit like she is covering up her ears and trying to say it...muffled. Then her balance...so we went in and he said she had some fluid in her right ear and her hearing test came out to be a little less than desirable on that side. So he gave her an antibiotic and said to come back in a month. I immediately went to the chiropractor (Miss J has never been there, though I go regularly and JW has been going for his colic). So her first time...and it went well. I was hoping they could loosen up the fluid and open up her Eustachian tubes to drain the fluid. We weren't making much progress, in fact I was sure it had turned into an infection despite the antibiotics.

So last Friday, I took her in again, had the doc look in her ear and said that yes, there was some puss and still fluid. The doc did a procedure where she swiped her finger on the inside of her mouth to open up the Eustachian tube...well it worked. Today we went back to the ENT...and voila...no fluid at all!!! And just in 4-days!! Is that freaking amazing?!??!!

Praise God.

And then I was worried about JW having an ear infection. He had a small fever and has been pulling on his ears...I had the ENT take a quick look in his ears...and he did not have anything, no fluid, nothing!

Praise God.

See, I have been overly worried about my kids health the past weekend.

After we went to the chiropractor on Friday, that night Miss J woke up puking. Now, this is new to me, she has NEVER been sick like this. So the throwing up is just so gross and, just, yucky. Well she was puking a bunch through the night, then into the morning. Better in the afternoon and evening, but then back again on Sunday. So bad, we almost took her to the hospital to get her hydrated because we were worried about dehydration. But, she had a wet diaper (only the second in the past two days), so we held off. She puked until 10pm Sunday night.

Monday, seemed like a different girl...all better, no more puking...so I stayed home from work anyway to make sure. Then the diarrhea began. Twice. Come on...really...when is this going to end? Hasn't she been through enough this weekend, we have been through enough. Enough laundry, enough lethargy, enough crying, enough worry.

So I prayed. A lot last night, and this morning. Prayed for healing, for a miracle, for things to be better. Then the ENT answered those prayers.

And then when I took her to school today...they seemed to be blown again. They were telling everyone that any child who has just one bout of diarrhea will be sent home. They have had 13 kids sent home with this stomach virus and two with confirmed cases of Rotovirus. Knowing darn well that Miss J was not done with the diarrhea , I left her, thinking maybe I could get some work done and pray that I don't get a call. I did, just after noon. Ugh...do I have to leave work again, do I risk my hubby leaving work and possibly getting fired? Do I inconvenience someone else to try to watch her...so I left. Glad I have an understanding boss.

So, I am stressed. I am worried about the health of my children. I am worried about me and my husbands jobs. I am worried about our health (I have not been exercising nearly as much as I need to due to not enough time because of time off with appts and sickness). I am worried about the health of my mom (she had back surgery two weeks ago, and then went in a week later with a blood clot...she is recovering well right now). I am worried about my grandfather who is in a new memory care assisted living home in OKC, who is struggling with bladder cancer and the effects of dementia. I am worried about money, and the house, and getting normal every day things done (ok, keeping up with them). I am just too worried to worry and too stressed out.

Do not worry about anything but through prayer and petition...I know...the bible says. But I still am, though I pray daily, sometimes hourly and try to give it up to God.

Ugh...I don't like when it all hits at once. I know it will pass...but in the meantime...it is the meantime.

OK, thanks for letting me share. Thanks for saying a quick prayer for me, and my family. Thanks for reading and caring and loving me and missing me. I miss blogging...very therapeutic...but I have been busy at work and don't have much time to blog. But, now I know I can hook up to wireless through my work laptop at home!!! I can watch TV and get on the computer at the same time!! That is why I am online at 9:45 at night. Otherwise, I would probably be sound asleep, trying not to worry!

I will give you an update as things progress. Right now, I am blessed with a daughter who has clear ears and won't need tubes (again) right now. I am blessed JW is NOT sick (knock on wood), and I am blessed to have an understanding boss and jobs that we are able to still go to and get a paycheck each week!! We are blessed, God is good, and I have faith...

To pump or not to pump

2009-04-29T15:09:00.003-05:00

Today is the first day without pumping...and now I am starting to regret not bringing my stuff. The problem was I was taking my two pump breaks, and getting less than 4-oz total and then I didn't have enough milk for JW when I nursed him at night and he would get so mad that he couldn't have any milk, cry and cry and cry, then I couldn't get him to even drink formula because he was so upset and would end up putting him to bed without anything fearful that he would wake up in the middle of the night hungry and I would fell bad, yada yada yada.

So, yesterday I only pumped once, early on, thinking that would give me enough milk to nurse him at night. Voila, the school fed him a bottle at 4:45, then I fed him some sweet potatos and cereal...and he wasn't hungry for me to nurse him before bed. I tried to pump at that time and got zippo, like less than an ounce.

Today I thought I would not pump at all during the day, and then have enough for him tonight or at least to pump...I am regretting that a bit. I feel very full...and am sure this is really going to be my last week nursing at all. Once you start down that slippery slope, it is tough to go back.

So, I have been bracing myself for the change. I have really loved nursing Jack...not that it wasn't the toughest thing when I started, but now I love it. Love the time we spend together, love the way he looks at me, loves how much HE loves it! I took a picture yesterday morning as he was looking out the window in awe of the green trees and flowers blooming. He had this look of being so satisfied and of such innocence like nothing else in the world was going on. Made me wonder what the heck he was thinking about.

However, I will be so excited to be able to wear normal bras!! To not have to wear a "pad" every day. To not have to interrupt my work day flow to go pump. To not have to worry about where I am going to pump or how long I can be out without pumping. To not worry about drinking a glass of wine or beer or having to wait until after I feed him to have one (whew...nice to have when you get home from work!). It will be an adjustment, but I think I am ready. It has been a great run of almost 7 months! Longer than I went with Miss J. But this is the 6 month slump time, and with the stresses going on, and my hormones shifting, and my time committments changing...it is time.

So what else is going on in my world? Miss J has fluid in her ear again. I think it has just turned into an infection, and the ENT put her on antibiotics and set up another visit in two weeks. If the fluid isn't gone, they want to do tubes...again. Yes, we had tubes just over a year ago and they fell out in February, just shy of a year. And I sure thought we made it through the worst of the season without colds or fluid or infections...and now this.

I immediately got her into the chiropractor...which I have not taken her to before - I have taken JW and I go regularly...but never her. She likes it now. And I am hoping they can loosen up some of the fluid and get it to drain. I would love not to have to do tubes again. But since I am starting to worry about her speech now...I am afraid to wait too long and to even possibly cause more scare tissue and hearing issues further down the road. So I am at a crossroads and not sure how to proceed.

Her speech isn't bad, just some words with l's in it don't roll off her toung so well. Like she has muffled ears and can't hear herself say the words. And I don't want it to inhibit her learning...because I think she is such a smart cookie!!

We are trying to get DH's business up and rolling...again. It seems like this time of year, every year, he gets frustrated with his automotive service work, and gets a bug up his butt to be independent and get his inspection service rolling. The problem is, and always is, time. We just don't have the time to devote to getting things rolling. We get home at night, and get the kids fed and to bed, and dishes washed and things ready for the morning, and then it is 9pm and we are both exhausted we just want to crawl on the couch and chill. I know y'all understand that. So we are praying for some help to better balance and optimize our time. We don't want more time...because when we have prayed for that in the past we end up with DH without a job. Don't want/need that right now. It is just a lot...and if we had the extra $$ we would hire someone to do it all for us! Hmmm, stuck in the mud again. But I know it will work out...

Just finished Beth Moores study on Believing God. Pretty good. Intense. I lead the group, and really wish I would have had more time to really dig into the study, and reflect, and journal. But the videos were awesome and so fulfilling...I think I did pretty good for having two kids at home and working full time and leading a group of women through a very deep study! We are taking some time off and are going to try to meet back in a couple of weeks...not sure what study to do yet, but God will lead us!

Other than that...my mom had back surgery. My grandpa is NOT moving up here with us - he is staying in Oklahoma City with the family down there, and was put into a Alzhiemers assisted living home...having a hard time adjusting. We took a trip down there, only me and the kids, by air...the kids were great travelers...but the trip was less than desireable. Stressful.

Enjoying the nice weather and the blooming flowers. Here are some pics to enjoy! Taking a "load out". I say this every morning as I take a load of stuff out to the car before we go to school/work. So this morning she got herself all dressed up, and was taking a load out to the car!

Taking a picture of Miss J taking a picture of her animals and dolls. She normally has them all naked, but this morning she dressed them all up and we lined them all up.

Miss J LOVES to read, and often reads to her animals and sets up chairs in a row and reads with them.

In OKC...bro and sis.

Easter family

My cutie petutie!

Rolly polly on the floor!

Bro and sis ,posers

Life...

2009-03-16T12:40:00.002-05:00

I was so excited to be able to take a walk yesterday with the entire family (excluding the cat...who really, if I could find someone or a shelter to take her, would be part of another family). I received a double jogging stroller for my B-day - after much pulling teeth of my MIL and SIL telling them that "Yes, I REALLY do want a jogging stroller for my birthday!!". So DH put it together yesterday morning and with the wonderfully beautiful weather this weekend, we all took a walk...JW, Miss J, DH, the dog, and I. It was sooo nice. We even stopped at the part for a bit for Miss J to run around and go down the slide a few times. Gosh, I remember last year when she was a little afraid to go down the big "bump" slide and now she has no fear...what a season does for growing up!!

We have been trying some cereal for JW lately. He liked it at first, but the last 3-4 times doesn't like it at all. So we tried some carrots on Saturday...mmm, liked them. Last night I tried some sweet potatoes...liked them BUT got violent screams from him about an hour later. Like the colic screams we used to get a month or so ago. Gosh, really brought back some memories. Funny how colicky he was for about 2-3 months...and now he is great, not that it was like an overnight thing, but funny how you do forget once things are hunky dorey. So, not sure if he didn't like something I ate (he nursed one side before bed then got this blood curling cry) or if it was the sweet potatoes. Might try them again later in the week and see for sure.

I needed to pull my book out on making baby food again. I did that with Miss J and was so surprised at how easy it was. I don't use organic foods or anything, but I think by making my own there aren't those additives, sugars, preservatives, or anything like that and they get a taste for what real food tastes like. I don't think Miss J ever had a jarred food...maybe I stocked some at school for her if I didn't bring any...but I was real picky about what I got her because there are so many of those jar foods that have so much extra junk in them. Anyway...I will get off my soapbox now...really I am not snooty or anything, I guess I just found some pride in making my own. And honestly, if I didn't have the time, I would probably find the best jarred food out there I could and give it to him...it won't kill him!! But really...have you tasted the jar food...some it is really doesn't taste anything like what it says it is. Ugh...but homemade sweets...mmmm, just like a sweet potato should!!

So JW is on his way to sleeping all the way through the night. He is down to a good routine at night. Ready to go to bed by 7pm (which is PERFECT!!). We take a bath most nights, lotion up, nurse, read a book or two, then down to bed. He goes down really well, and only up once a night. He slept through once last weekend...but unfortunately Miss J was up three times for some odd reason. And last night, despite JW's screaming fit, he was up at 10pm then slept till 5am. I would even be happy with that. No more 2am wakings!! So, we are on a roll I think!! And to think just 2-3 weeks ago I was struggling really hard with getting him to sleep, and after a routine and a few good CIO nights...we are on a roll!! Hope he can keep it up! I am ready for a good 6hour sleep night at least two nights in a row.

But then comes the boob part...now that he is sleeping through the night, my boobs are taking a beating. He doesn't drain them enough first thing in the AM so I also have to pump. And sometimes I have to pump after his last night feeding. But I can tell they are adjusting because I am starting to have problems making enough milk for him during the day...isn't that just the opposite problem I was having a couple months ago where I was stock piling soo much!! Haa...I also think I am going through the next hormone phase where my hair is falling out...A LOT...and my milk is taking a dip. I am trying to stay afloat though. I would like to exclusively BF at least another month. Anything to avoid the cost of formula for awhile longer. I mean, the cost of diapers is crazy...then to add formula on top of it...ugh. At least making homemade food saves us some $$, but really, jarred food is not that expensive. Anyway...I know that once he starts foods too that my milk may dip. I don't know...just go with the flow. I know I won't miss the pumping every day at work (which I am just getting in two pumps a day because my schedule is busy crazy). But I do enjoy the one on one we get when he nurses. He does this thing with his hand where he grabs at my shirt or bra and kind of pulls it down...almost like a baby animal nursing who bumps the udder to get more milk out (OK, so that sounds REALLY weird), but it is cute...and I feel close to him when we nurse. But other than that...I know I won't miss it. I nursed till about 7 months with Miss J. I think I started formula around 6 months...so, I will take what I can.

I guess for now that is it. There is more going on in life...but not enough time to update. Oh, I am leading a small group study on Believing God from Beth Moore...and that is going well. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to keep up with the study, and surprisingly I am doing good. I have about 4 regular women that come. Not sure if it will turn into a regular group after this study...but for my first time leading a group, I would have to say all is well!!

Hope life is good for everyone else. I am sure I would keep up better with everyone if I were on Face book, but alas, I am not. I don't get online enough at home and I can't access it at work. So...all ya'll who haven't been blogging lately, are probably all over FB and I know I am missing out. Kind of like when everyone made the transition from the Nest to Blogger...now everyone is going to FB. Oh well...I will probably catch up one day. Until then, let me know you are out there!!

Have a great week.

A Reminder to New Mommies

2009-03-06T09:42:00.003-06:00

I heard this on the radio this morning and tear were a rollin'...going through another post preggo hormone shift I think!! I would have to say this is my mantra right now...I swear it will never end, but it will...and then I will be looking back laughing and smiling...so until then, I enjoy!
----------------------------------------
Darius Rucker
"It Won't be Like this for Long"

He didn't have to wake up He'd been up all night
Lying there in bed and listening To his newborn baby cry
He makes a pot of coffee He splashes water on his face
His wife gives him a kiss and says, "It's gonna be okay"

"It won't be like this for long
One day we'll look back laughing
At the week we brought her home
This phase is gonna fly by
So baby, just hold on
It won't be like this for long

"Four years later, 'bout 4:30 She's crawling in their bed
And when he drops her off at pre-school She's clinging to his leg
The teacher peels her off of him He says, "What can I do?
"She says, "Now, don't you worry This'll only last a week or two"

"It won't be like this for long
One day soon you'll drop her off
And she won't even know you're gone
This phase is gonna fly by If you can just hold on
It won't be like this for long"

Someday soon she'll be a teenager
And at times, he'll think she hates him
And he'll walk her down the aisle
And raise her veil, But right now she's up and cryin'
And the truth is that he don't mind
As he kisses her goodnight And she says her prayers
He lays down there beside her Till her eyes are finally closed
And just watching her it breaks his heart 'Cause he already knows

It won't be like this for long
One day soon that little girl is gonna be
All grown up and gone
And this phase is gonna fly by
So he's trying to hold on
It won't be like this for long
It won't be like this for long